Wednesday, April 27, 2005

It's The End of the World As We Know It....

There's been a lot of interest lately with the "End of Days". Arnold did a movie about it, the "Left Behind" series of books are best-sellers, and now NBC has a hit on their hands with "Revelations". People want to know how the last chapter of human history ends. Well, I think I got it all figured out. Forget the psychics and political analysts - watch the animals.

You know how they say that animals have a sixth sense when it comes to danger - dogs run away just before an earthquake, horses jump fences to escape an impending tornado, and when the recent Tsunami hit, not a single animal was found among the carnage. So as I'm watching the latest news reports, I'm starting to see a disturbing trend that no reporter has picked up on yet - the animals are going crazy. Whales are beaching themselves, Elephants are stomping through store-fronts, Buffalo are roaming onto tennis courts, and right now on my local news, a wayward bear has found himself up in a tree...and I don't live anywhere near bear country. Where are these animals trying to escape to? I'm telling you people, these pachederm prophets and whale wise-men know something we don't and they're trying to get the hell out of Dodge.

This leads me to an interesting side note. The proponents of evolution and natural selection obviously don't believe their own theory because if they did, they wouldn't be trying so hard to capture and suppress these animal escapees. If humans are the result of "survival of the fittest" then why don't we just let these wild beasts alone and see what happens? We don't because we've all seen "Gladiator" and know the end result. The world would be ruled by tigers....and Russell Crowe - scary thought.


So the next time you watch the news, don't be surprised to see footage of an escaped Gorilla carrying a sandwich board that reads, "Repent Sinners, The End is Near."

3 comments:

Cindy said...

We had a couple rogue bears here last fall. The news reports said they were harmless, just let them roam. They were looking for food. I'm not sure a hungry bear is necessarily harmless.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/amc1157/

Cindy said...

The View never listed Rosie as a guest on their website, and now I missed it.

lightfeather said...

I wish you would write every day because you are an absolute riot!