High Tech Nagging

I am a parent of three children and I am convinced that parenting is far more difficult today than it was when I was a kid. I say this not for the reasons that you might suspect - greater pressure from our children's peers and the media pulling at them to do anything from drugs to piercing every available space on their body; the increased dangers that lie in wait for our kids - internet sex offenders, drug pushers, Paris Hilton. No, what makes my job as a parent more difficult is that there are now more ways available for my mother to say, "I told you so!"

My mother loves being right. I would say that she probably loves it more than sex, but who wants to think of their mom that way?! LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA! Find a happy place, find a happy place!......Okay, all better. Anyway, my mom lives to prove that she knows all when it comes to parenting and marriage, and she feels it is her duty to pass her wisdom down to her young apprentice - me. Put this together with a slight knowledge of the internet and you have a dangerous combination. For example, if I happen to mention to my mother that my oldest child is struggling with math in school, I can expect to receive no less than 3 e-mails with links to web-sites that expound on the benefits of piano lessons to improve math performance, the evils of too much T.V. in my young student's life, and the latest "brain food" diets that I should be feeding my family. This will be followed up by either an e-mail or a voice-mail message by my mom to see if I received, and am following the mom-recommended regimen that will put my daughter on the road to Harvard or MIT.

Of course, I take some responsibility for my mom's nagging. I enable her by, well, talking to her. Furthermore, I'm not totally convinced that nagging is a bad thing. My theory is that nagging has probably advanced our society far more than we realize. The early settlers of America might very well have stayed in Europe if they weren't nagged by their government to follow the proper religion. The pioneers of the American Frontier were probably compelled to "Go West Young Man" in order to escape being told what to do by their nagging parents and inlaws, "You call that a corn field Ephraim? Why I've seen taller ears on my mule than what you've got growing there...." Maybe they figured that taking their chances with rough terrain, wild animals, and hostile natives was a much better deal than listening to, "I toldeth thou so" from their Puritan parents. They say that, "behind every great man is a great woman" and I'm willing to bet that that woman is a great nag.

I am not with out my high-tech counter-attack against my mom's nagging though. I thank the good Lord for caller I.D., or I would have no defense against the incoming barrage of calls from my life coach. I have the added bonus of having talking caller I.D. so that the incoming call is announced, in a robotic monotone, throughout the house. Now if they can only tweak it a little more so that it also announces your caller's intentions: "Incoming call from your mother. She's hot under the collar about the dishes piling up in your sink." God forbid I ever get a video phone or my mother, upon calling me at 10:00 in the morning, would see that I'm still in my pajamas, and then proceed to give me advise on how to manage my time more wisely. I'm sure she would think that blogging is not a productive use of my time......or she might see it as an effective way to extol her advise to the masses and thus get her own blog. If that happens, God help us all.